I emailed this guy back. I told him, "sign me up, brahhh. I need the ca$$$h!" I know it’s a scam but his name is so beautiful. I just want this seedy guy pretending to be a barrister to send me emails all day but he never responded! Ulrich! Why aren’t you trying to get me to wire you money so I can claim the inheritance of the British couple who died in a tragic car accident in Manchester?? Did you find sombody else to fleece? An elderly lady who still pays for AOL? Why aren’t you still trying to scheme on me, brah?
I miss everybody. Every girl who ever walked. Friends who slowly slipped away into nowhere. All my dead dogs and lost cats. And Ulrich Claypole, the barrister who got away.