Christopher Lindstrom

blah blah blah blah blah


a note for employers:
as far as ya'll concerned, all writing on this little blog thing is fictional and totally not real and i'm not such a complete mess in real life like i wear pants sometimes, not basketball shorts all the time, i promise, please believe that, you gotta believe that, please!

I have an interview tomorrow for a marketing position so I have less than 24 hours to

  • find appropriate business clothes
  • make my beard less merlin-y
  • train my hands to stop involuntarily shooting gun fingers and hanging ten
  • learn a response to “do you have any weaknesses?” that isn’t just me saying “oh my god yeapppp”
  • achieve the faintest understanding of what marketing is/or find a suitable slang word for marketing like ‘markin’ or ‘keting’ so it seems like I’ve been in the biz before.

All I’ve accomplished so far is that I think there might be pants in my closet. Will investigate later.

The Northern Lights were visible in New England last night
I forgot about that until right now though
it probably looked cool
it probably looked really good
I bet the color green was involved somewhere in the mix

I spent my lunch break
inventing new trees
for example
turbo fir
it’s a fir but it’s fast
there were better examples than that I assume

A schizophrenic woman sits at a table eating apple fritters
she has two different voices
and a stuffed animal cat
with broken eyes
that she picks at

Another day of sadness
a 40 year old man wearing billabong
with kinda spiky hair just a little bit
knows all the words to The Offspring’s
Pretty Fly for a White Guy
he fucking loves that Ricki Lake reference
he fucking gets it
he understands the world and how the man
how you gotta tell the man to just quit it sometimes
he knows


In the car on our way to the park, I realized I forgot a drink.

“Fuck. It is never enough for you. Fine. We’ll get you a fucking drink.”

When people wonder why I say sorry so much, I have to ask myself the same thing.

Why do I say sorry so much?

Because there are people in the world who only want to make you feel it. There are people who never heard those words when they needed them, who will manipulate others into these acts of contrition again and again, who will turn you into a parrot that only knows one word. Sorry. Sorry. You learn to repeat, you learn to repent. To choke on anything but these apologies.

There is that terrible Sugar Ray song with the line,Every morning there’s a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriend’s four-post bed and, in the rare instances that I hear it, I am reminded of how often I was accused of beingso perfect. His booming voice is above and below and around me again. I was some angel with a fucking halo. I thought I woke with a leash at the edge of my bed, if anything.

Human Parts is being super kind to me today.

i wonder sometimes about the person i could’ve been if i had drank more water

can you mention that you’ve watched Mad Men on your resume? like is each season a year’s worth of marketing experience? could i possibly be too qualified?

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is on netflix now so yeah, later nerds.

I’ve been eating a lot of salad lately. There’s a lot of power in that sentence. Like if i said that to a bouncer at a club, he’d immediately grant me access to the vip room and to the helicopter pad and when i go up there to check it out, the helicopter pilot leans against the a/c unit and asks if i’m the ‘salad guy’ and that he was told to take me wherever i want to go. I don’t know. I’m just proud of it, I guess.

(full disclosure:most of these salads contained cheetos)

just found a bunch of cool jobs to apply for online but then i remembered i was supposed to make gazpacho today and there’s no gazpacho ingredients in the house so i have to get some at a grocery store and then of course you have to chill it for three hours and i’m sure there’s some kind of stirring required during the chilling process and i really, really tried today, i did.

I’ve eaten 5 empty ice cream cones in the past 2 days. I can’t tell whether they are genuinely good on their own or if i’m going through a thing.

where the hell is Emilio Estevez? is he okay? why isn’t he in movies? is he in movies? where is the buzz? why is Lighthouse Hockey reviewing D2: The Mighty Ducks in 2014? did they rate it 4 out of 5 pucks? is it a slapshot thrillride you can watch it with your mom but don’t? i’m trying to imagine 2 lighthouses playing hockey but nothing is happening? i can see it kinda but i can’t imagine their skates? where the frigg is Emilio? where?